The year my husband died, I was deep in despair, and on top of that I had the added burden of raising my children. Hardship had suddenly befallen my life, but I had the love of the Lord with me all along, and with the help of my brothers and sisters I got through this difficult time. To recompense the love of the Lord, I continued to make donations and serve the church, and have been doing so for over thirty years. In this time, I have experienced the thriving of the church and seen the glorious occasion of the spread of the gospel of the
Lord Jesus. I’ve also witnessed desolation and helplessness in the church. I thought back to when the Holy Spirit first began to do the great work in the church, when we experienced enjoyment and gained much from listening to the pastor’s preaching. There was mutual love among the brothers and sisters just as if we were all one family, and everyone was united in spreading the gospel and bearing witness to the Lord. Later, without knowing what had happened, there was no longer any light in what the pastor preached. It was like everything was just the same old story repeated again and again, and the believers simply could not get anything to nourish them. Their faith and love gradually waned, and there were fewer and fewer people coming to gatherings. Those of us who participated in service were also just going through the motions. We all acted according to the wishes of the people in the ministry and not at all in the service of God, but rather we just exerted ourselves in front of other people and tried to win their admiration. I knew that this kind of service was not in line with God’s will, and so it was very painful for me. I also felt helpless, with no idea how to walk the path ahead of me. I hoped all the more for the Lord to return as soon as possible, so that all these problems would be solved.